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Blog Bashing

February 5th 2008 08:41
Blog Bashing...a weighty issue?
I have visited my blog after repeated messages informing me of my "inactive" blog... Magazines also support "active" models, whilst scorning the dominant "inactive" readership (I only state inactive readership because clearly they are simply sitting on their bums reading the magazine)...thus, my blog has become a cruel demonstration of "fat bashing". Just because it has been a little distracted, eaten up one too many non-writing days, yes, it has become..."inactive". I ask all those who visit my site not to join the ongoing crusade of fat bashing...afterall we are all only blogs...inactive or active, fat or thin...



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A Fitting Man

August 9th 2007 10:08
My last entry was a little while ago now...titled "Valentines Sux"...I stopped writing on my blog just after Valentines Day, also co-inciding with meeting a boy.
I found it difficult to write because in the first few months of "isn't he spectacular"ing, in between lingere shopping and bikinii waxing I found it difficult to find the sarcasm and resentment that soo often fuels my writing...well its back!
Cosmopolitan magazine dedicates pages upon pages to helping women find the perferct pair of jeans or bathers to suit their figur.Like the search for the perfect swimming costume or pair of fashionable jeans...I don't ever seem satisfied!

I'm suffering from partner pickiness, and one of the symptoms is picking on my partner...Things that wouldn't have even entered my single my mind, become reasons to break-up in my girlfriend mind.
I can see my "relationship" self doing things that my "single self" would have scorned... for example, I got infuriated the other day when my boyfirend slept through the day he was meant to meet me because he was out clubbing with girls (but he's just there for the atmosphere!-told you the sarcasm was back)....single self says "fuck him, call up a friend and go get a coffee"...."girlfriend self" worked herself into an angry/sad fit that had to be walked off through the shopping mall wearing a "sad face".
Also, I got upset when he didn't invite me to spend time with his friends that I know and also had their girlfriends there, who asked after me....after much discussion with my trusty support system I do beleive that these things are unfair and simply unjust....my single self screams "stuff it, go out clubbing without him, with lots of boys, then sleep through the next day and miss the date you had 'planned'"....instead, I'm pretending that I'm going out clubbing tonight....because I don't particularly like clubbing and I figure the only thing worse than pretending is actually going when you don't want to just to spite him.....
The problem with being partner picky is just like swimming costumes and fashionable jeans... most lycra and high-waisted denim doesn't suit most real women...even if this one fits... I can't help but wonder wether he makes my bum look big....

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Valentines Sux!

February 15th 2007 00:20
VALENTINES SUX!
If you are single during this time of the year... Valentines Day is an "over-commercialised money making machine for google-eyed knit wits to superficially profess their love for one-another"...on the other hand, if you are happily google-eyed, its a day to celebrate your naieve glassy look at 'love' (whatever that means to you).
Obviously, I am sceptical due to my clear-eyed singularity. The thing is, there were offers of flowers and romantic dinners....just from the 'wrong' men. And I ask "why cant the wrong men be the right men"? Sometimes I wonder about the difference between the two groups... and the clear differentiation is that the 'wrong' men are into me and the 'right' men (the ones I'm into) aren't. Is this a sick personality flaw that will ensure my inability to pro-create in order to precisley stop the future inheritence of this weird single status...best contraception ever! Is it just me, is it because I will not settle on one of the 'wrong' men that I am single...does everyone else settle...or does everyone, bar me, find the 'right' partner that also thinks you are 'right'.
Anyhow, this months articles on "How to be single and happy", "How to love yourself", "10 ways to ensure a partner for next Valentines Day" are sure to fly off the shelves with a huge portion of the population single...but why does it seem that everyone has someone on Valentines, bar you?
I suggest goggles for the google-eyed and maybe even a crash helmet!...for all those singles I suggest google-eyes...because you can enjoy the day and love with a blind enthusiasm and butterflies...if this is not possible...due to a genetic disorder as I have self-diagnosed...be as sceptical of the fickle nature of "love" as you want, divorce rates, broken hearts, abusive relationships...write it all down in a babble of whining words disguising wishful whims and place it somewhere everyone can see...not as an "up yours" to the lovey-dovey's or even a shrine for singles, but just as a self-fulfilling explanation...p.s. chocolate helps.
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Should Women Ask Men Out?

February 2nd 2007 02:45
The feminist inside screams "yes"! That's what I'd tell any of my girlfriends...so why do I find myself wondering.....I used to see this guy that works in a coffee shop I walk past on my way home from work. We would play constant games of eye tennis...or did these games only exist in m y mind? Does this guy check out every girl that walks by, sits at the coffee shop sipping seductivley...was I simply a passing amusement to make the art of coffee making that little more stimulating? Anyway, life went on until a mutual friend, that also works at this same coffee shop, introduced us. I tried not to recall our previous, what an ex once called, "eye sex", so as to avoid blushing as we spoke. The next day I saw him at his work again and he offered me a lift home as he was finishing his shift. The walk to the car was great, I felt we really connected. As we approached the car he walked down the left hand side of the vehicle, I followed to steps behind perplexed, and said, "Isn't the drivers seat on the other side" as he opened the door for me he replied "yes"...and I thought chivalry was dead! As I guided him to my house we laughed and talked, and when the journey ended I was disappointed. He pulled the car over next to a patch of cement where it was easire for me to leave. I couldn't ask him, he didn't ask me....was it all in my head...? The complements, the looks, the smiles...the door, the ride...Is he that way with everyone? I have only officially known this guy for two days...and I don't know wether to ask him to meet me for a simple coffee or not because for once I REALLY like a guy and don't want to scare him off...........but the torture of blindly waiting and not knowing wether he feels the same seems far too painful...So, I have nearly decided to leave a note on his windscreen saying, "Do you want to meet up for a coffee sometime this weekend?" with my name and number. MEN, IS IT TOO EARLY? WOULD YOU PREFER TO ASK? WOULD I FREAK YOU OUT? WOMEN, HELP...WHAT DO YOU THINK?
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STOP DROOLING / ENVYING!

November 12th 2006 02:46
Every-one is told this. Most women think they know this…I thought I knew this….but I guess you have actually got to see it to believe it! Magazines airbrush their cover girls and models to ridiculous extents, and consequently they are transformed into the unachievable goals of women everywhere. Did you see the cover of beautiful Kylie on the November issue of, let's face it, just about every mag that could afford her? Did you say, "she looks gorgeous, she's so pretty" and secretly begin plotting a way to steel her lips, butt, eyes…or make a resolution to stop eating chocolate and chips? Have a look at these sites…even if it's just a reminder…
BOYS...it's worth you taking a look too!

[ Click here to read more ]
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What MAN can make you CLIMAX?

November 12th 2006 02:44
Is the female orgasm so elusive that one can only wait for it to rear its face? Or are certain men more likely to encourage its arrival? Apparently, there are certain men who are more likely to please...bad news though, they're also more likely to cheat on you. Psychologist's Gangestad and Thronhill, measured the body symmetry of university aged men and women. "By adding up right-left disparities in seven measurements, the breadth of the feet, ankles, hands, wrists and elbows, as well as the breadth and length of the ears, the researchers scored each subject's overall body asymmetry. Then they had the candidate fill out a questionnaire covering everything from temperament to sexual behavior, and set about looking for connections" (Cowley, G, The Biology of Beauty (Cover Story) Newsweek, June 3, 1996 v127 n23 p60). In a 1994 study, Gangestad and Thornhill made connections between the symmetry of men and their sexual behaviors. "Most symmetrical males had started having sex three to four years earlier than their most lopsided brethren" . It was found that for both men and women, greater symmetry predicted a larger number of past sex partners. The study also proved that like other species of animals, women were more sexually responsive to symmetric men, and men typically exploit that advantage. Gangestad and Thornhill's study found that women were "twice as likely to climax during intercourse with a symmetrical partner than with a non-symmetrical partner"(Cowley, G, The Biology of Beauty (Cover Story) Newsweek, June 3, 1996 v127 n23 p60). As climaxing is an event that may foster conception by ushering sperm into the uterus, the biological argument, such as Sexual Selection, becomes even more prominent. However, in other studies Gangestead and Thornhill found that compared with average Joes, extremely symmetrical men are less attentive to their partners and more likely to cheat on them. Women showed no such tendency. That explains why women have a tendency to chase a man that doesn't necessarily give her the attention she deserves.

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Are you beautiful?

November 12th 2006 02:41
Everyone has an idea of what is beautiful and frankly, you either are or you're not. If you are one of the fortunate ones that eyes follow down the street, by no feat of your own, you will most probably act differently than if, say, you had been forty kilo's heavier and had a mole the size of the Titanic on your nose. But do we really know why we believe some are God's and Goddesses and others mere mortals? What is beauty and who defines it? There is overwhelming scientific evidence suggesting that beauty is biologically and innately defined. All biological arguments supporting beauty, both male and female beauty, are founded on characteristics that ensure survival. "The characteristics that render attractiveness and beauty may be signs of fertility, health and resistance to disease" (Helen Fisher, Rutgers University anthropologist), for example, females universally prefer a strong, heavy lower face in men. Think of Prince Charming and his chiseled jaw, or any of the men chosen as the female prize on The Bachelor. This trait is a visible record of the surge in androgens (testosterone and other male sex hormones) that occurs in males through puberty. "The androgens required to produce this oversized jaw, tend to also compromise the immune system. Evolutionists think of androgen-based features as "honest advertisements" of disease resistance," (Helen Fisher, Rutgers University anthropologist) and thus this physical quality is valued by females. By the same rule, males find women with a "waist-hip ratio of 0.6-0.8 most attractive", that is their waists are 60-80% the size of their hips. Almost anything that interferes with fertility e.g. obesity, malnutrition, pregnancy and menopause, changes a woman's shape. That is why this particular shape is seen as ideal as an indicator of fertility, as it is the best shape for childbirth. Whilst, the female shape changes from era to epoch, and this transformation is generally related to social change. For example, traditionally fuller and paler women were seen as attractive as their physique illustrated that they were economically well-endowed enough to be well-fed and not have to labour in the sun. Whereas, contemporary society values a leaner and more tanned woman, as this shows that the female is also economically well-endowed enough to look after her figure and eat the "right" foods as well as take leisure time. Here we can see that the idea of beauty is related primarily to the social construct of economics. However, even though the physiques of beauty have dramatically changed from Botticelli's Venus to Kate Moss, it is interesting to note that "a low waist-hip ratio is one of the few features that a long, lean Barbie doll shares with a plump, primitive fertility icon. Even Twiggy was no tube; at the peak of her fame in the 1960s, the British model had a WHR of .73." (Cowley, G, The Biology of Beauty (Cover Story) Newsweek, June 3, 1996 v127 n23 p60) This suggests that body weight is a fashion, and not entirely linked with ideas of beauty. All this body talk, but aren't guy's suckers for a pretty face? Most people would agree that Nichole Kidman has a pretty face. Her face is pretty because it is average. However, People magazine has named Angelina Jolie its 2006 World's Most Beautiful Person. People classified as beautiful, as opposed to pretty, tend to have more exaggerated features e.g. Jolie's lips. "An ideal female has a higher forehead than an average one, as well as fuller lips, a shorter jaw and a smaller chin and nose. Indeed, the ideal 25-year-old woman, as configured by participants in a 1993 study, had a 14-year-old's abundant lips and an 11-year-old's delicate jaw. Because her lower face was so small, she also had relatively prominent eyes and cheekbones"(Cowley, G, The Biology of Beauty (Cover Story) Newsweek, June 3, 1996 v127 n23 p60). One key to physical attractiveness is symmetry; humans, like other species, show a strong preference for individuals whose right and left sides are well matched. One could argue that these features, as suggested, are linked to a youthful ideal once again related to fertility. Qualities held at the age of puberty, for example, the lips of a fourteen year old signify sexual maturity and thus are desirable to a male mate. So after you've asked yourself whether you're beautiful, ask yourself whether you really care about the size of someone waist is 70% the size of their hips? Are we merely animals programmed solely to reproduce?

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Society vs. Science over the Beauty Spot

November 12th 2006 02:39
Are you beautiful? From Extreme Make-Over miracles to a forever young Covergirl, beauty is of utmost importance and clearly the ideal is widely understood. Once upon a time, a young, female, Sleeping Syndneyite awoke from her long slumber. Looking in her mirror, she see's her uncovered blemishes and awaits the arrival of her pre-pimples. She wipes the sleep away from her eyes which improves her vision. Those stray hairs that have escaped her unsympathetic tweezers mock her eyebrows. She attempts to add volume to her limp hair which falls back tenaciously. With an air of indifference she hide's her dissatisfaction and prepares a sugary cereal for breakfast. Obviously, I am no Sleeping Beauty. Most men claim that a beautiful woman wakes up and looks beautiful. Obviously, these are single men who believe that they are romantically advocating the superfluous need for women to wear make-up. They are wrong. Any woman, who can meet the very high standards of male defined female beauty, wearing no make-up, when they first wake, is an illusion. Much like the socially constructed apparition that is "beauty". Fairy tales propose that beauty is essential for well being and survival. Would Sleeping Beauty ever have been able to wake, if she was not beautiful? I shovel another calorie packed mound of over-commercialised flakes into my mouth and wonder whether any-one with 20/20 vision would find this a beautiful sight. Flipping through a handy magazine I am faced with picture after picture of perfection, and I once again realise the unfair reality that "the kind [of beauty] that inspires awe, lust, and increased jeans sales cannot be evenly distributed. In a society where everything is supposed to be within reach, this is painful to face" (Siman K, The Beauty Trip, Pocket Books 05/95 p132). Why aren't I on those pages? Probably for the same reason Magda Zubanski isn't the host of Australia's Next Top Model. Who decides what is beautiful, and how? The main debate surrounding the construction of beauty is whether it is in fact socially or biologically formed. Is our perception of beauty defined by exterior experiences or simply interior preferences? On one hand, ones idea of beauty is created by assembling the images and ideas of beauty around us, "Our minds have evolved to generate pleasurable experiences in response to some things while ignoring other things. That's why sugar tastes sweet, and that's why we find some people more attractive than others." (Cowley, G, The Biology of Beauty (Cover Story) Newsweek, June 3, 1996 v127 n23 p60) On the other hand, many psychiatrists and theorists such as Charles Darwin, through such theories as Sexual Selection, have argued biological grounds for attraction. Sexual Selection, in essence, endorses the idea that the selection of a mate, "depends on the success of certain individuals over others of the same sex, in relation to the propagation of the species" (Anderson M, Sexual Selection, Princeton University Press, 27/05/94 p3). After I researched this topic I found that biological theories far out weighed any exterior influences…proportions of the face and body, symmetry and the minute placements of fat, reflect ones innate sense of beauty…everything else, such as traditional notions of beauty formed voluptuously in Botticelli's Venus to Vogue's portrayal of rake thin Kate Moss, is merely fashion.
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Make-up your Confidence!

November 1st 2006 07:42
It's approaching 8pm and I'm dressed and ready to go out. Not quite Red-Carpet material, but give me a couple of shots of Tequila and I'll think I am. I've waxed, plucked, brushed, tanned and applied. It's my birthday and I'm going out for a drink with a few friends…obviously abandonment fears and worse-case scenario thoughts are screaming for me to go to bed instead…but I persist and have a really great night…YAY! But that's not very interesting is it…what was interesting was for the first time seeing with my own eyes, that all the people I spend time with are so different. Some got along…some went along with it…and some went way to long without a drink! I've never really been a part of the whole group of made-up bubbly females…unless I've joined on to their group (like the last dog behind the rest of the pack, still a dog, still in the group, but only just clinging on…knowing that really, I'm a stray). Most of the people at my party were guys, and the few girls I invited showed me that I am more picky with girls than guys…and I'm pretty picky when it comes to guys (Obviously not picking up the "right" kind of guys given my previous experience though). My point is that they were there for me despite their differences, away from their usual packs. I drank…a lot, I salsa'd with my ex-boyfriend as a repercussion of my undying thirst, and by the end of the night I was a year older and no-more able to hold my drink than the previous year, no more wise, no more clever, and yet surprisingly I didn't trip, I also saw appearances fade into insignificance…those people weren't there for my killer dance moves, my backless top, my hair or expertly tanned spray-back…then I sobered with running mascara, rubbed-off foundation, three pre-pimples…and yep, still no worries…better check on my friends
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Relation Ships Stuck in the Harbour

November 1st 2006 06:46
Relationships are all about boundaries. Your relationship with your mailman is different to your relationship with your husband…unless you have very "special" deliveries, in which case he's not just coming to your house! Celebrities are constantly challenging and changing their boundaries, which are channeled through the media, magazines included. For example, when Lindsay Lohan got her breast implants (is there really any debate over that?) she shoved her boundaries from teen freckle-faced-princess to "wanted-sex-goddess with many naughty men" lusting over their matured jailbait. Are people like that too? Are we as easily transformed…or is it the media's lack of interest in us plain Jane's/Joe's that makes our transitions, or our boundary pushing less successful? So if Jane's friend, Joe, kissed her, and Jane kissed back, the boundaries are unsettled…of course I'm talking about a friend of a friend here. The problem is that when you push those boundaries you are changing a relationship, you're destroying what you had and loved, Little Lohan, for something new, red-head Barbie complete with eating-disorder…brain sold separately. Though, if you keep all your boundaries up, you might not grow up. I think I'm just a modern day Peter Pan flying back to Never Never Land…I mean my friend of a friend is…you can't think Peter Pan without thinking Michael Jackson anymore, can you? Once again, it's all about boundaries.
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